Jaylen
I had already informed my parents, that I would be taking time off work and be staying at the main house for the next two weeks before Dee arrived. As expected, they didn’t question my decision. Mom was more than happy with the news, dad on the other hand was a little taken back. If either of them suspected anything, they didn’t voice it.
I’ve been trying to give them hints about my plans without making them too obvious. I know they love me like a son, but I’m in love with their daughter. That’s not something I can control any longer. I would love to have their blessings and accept that I would still be their son no matter what, it’ll just be a little different than they had planned.
Even before Dee came back, I had already made up my mind to talk to them and explain how I truly felt but time never seemed to be right with everything else going on. Now that Dee is here, I’d rather show them first and explain later.
“Ma, Pops. It’s been a while since we’ve taken a family vacation. How about we take one for y’all thirtieth anniversary?”
Mom was the first and only one to squeal in excitement. She had hinted on a family vacation for a while now and what’s a better time than now?
“OMG! That would be great. I’ve been thinking about us taking one forever now, but Mel has always been too busy. Now that she’s here, where should we go?”
Pops and Dee shared a look of exasperation. I can only imagine what was going through their mind. It’s no secret that I was closer to ma. Mom barely questioned my plans or actions. majority of the time she suggested or encouraged it. Most of the troubles I got into growing up were due to her hyping me on. Even when I dragged Dee into those troubles, she was quicker to scold Dee than question me about it. I wonder if she’ll still be the same after my next set of mischiefs.
Ma gave them no choice but to agree to our family vacation. Just as I hopped. We leave in two days and heaven knows how excited I am. My plans are set in motion, now I just need to use these next two days to get Dee to loosen up around me just a little.
After dinner she rushed to her room, making sure she locked the door behind her. I guess she forgot that I had a key.
After taking a shower and dressed for bed, I made my way to her door. I could hear her on the phone with someone. From the one-sided conversation, it was a heated one. After a few minutes of eavesdropping, I believed I got all I needed to know.
Deciding to let her be for tonight, with the biggest smile on my face I went back to my room to ponder on what I just heard.
I wasn’t worried about her so-called engagement before, but now it was confirmed that I definitely had nothing to worry about. Not only she wasn’t engaged to that scumbag, but she never planned or wanted to marry him at all. He’s been the only one she’s been connected to and knowing Dee there wasn’t anyone else.
Unlike me who likes to fuck my feelings away, she would rather suppress them or find another outlet like fighting and studying. I wonder if she even slept with the guy. How lucky would I be if her first time was with me? Do I even deserve it?
******
With that thought in mind, I made sure to readjust my plans for the next two weeks. I couldn’t use the methods I had originally thought of.
For the following two days, I weaseled my way around her. Started with small conversations about work and friends, would “accidentally” bump into her during walks in the garden, the gym, or the bar. I pretended that everything was coincidental, gave her enough space for her to believe that there was nothing more to my actions.
As much as I would have loved to fall back to our old routines and be closer than we were before she disappeared on me, I needed to play it cool and get her to let her guard down. Even though ma gave her No room to pull another disappearing act, I couldn’t trust that she wouldn’t completely shut me out again.
I can’t say I enjoyed playing her like this, but she gave me no choice. So far, she refused to talk about anything regarding our past, no matter how trivial it was. I get the sense that anything about our past would eventually lead to that night. Did she regret it or is it something else?
I was always good at reading Dee until I found out that was only accurate when it didn’t come to how she really feels about me.
For fourteen years, I assumed I knew her. We did everything together, shared every secret except for one. I never told her how I truly felt about her, how I was in love with her, and that the reason I never had a serious relationship was that my heart was waiting on her to finally see me as more than the adopted brother.
Now, imagine how shocked I was the night of her twenty-first birthday when she got so drunk and revealed she felt just the same.
What a surprise to find out I wasn’t the only one keeping the same secret within our relationship. That night, she revealed that we were truly blinded in reading each other when it regarded each other.
But If she truly felt the same way, then why did she abandon me?
The more I got to talk to her the last two days, the more questions I had. She gave me enough but nothing at all. There were just too many gaps that I just couldn’t fill, and it was exasperating. At this point, I’m not even sure if two weeks will be enough.
What if what she revealed five years ago was nothing but drunken words that never really held any meaning or substance?
That can’t be, right? After all, we’ve been thought that drunken words are sober thoughts. She had to mean everything she said but could that still be the case today?