Killian rushed out of her chamber, panting hard. His breathing was deep and rigorous.
Fuck! he still could not believe what had just transpired between him and Sheila. It shouldn't have happened. It was a costly mistake he had committed. Kissing Sheila was the last thing on his mind, but then, he did it. He had completely lost it seeing her in the arms of another man, even worse, it happened to be one of his enemies, Kaiser Black. It made him lose his control, it made him act so stupidly.
Killian cursed at himself for losing control like that and making such a mistake. He couldn't blame Ryker; he knew he was as guilty as his wolf was. They allowed rage and jealousy to cloud their senses.
With a few hasty steps, Killian rushed into his chamber, taking off his silken shirt. He felt hot, battling with emotions he had struggled to keep buried. Emotions he never thought he'd feel. He could still feel the sweet, lingering effect of his mate's body on his. He could still taste the delicious and enticing flavor of her mouth on his tongue. He couldn't deny it, even though he wished he could. Sheila Callaso was a bloody seductress, a stubborn and beautiful one at that.
Killian groaned in frustration, he shouldn't be feeling any of these things. Rage, jealousy, and love were things he never expected he'd feel. He knew he shouldn't have lost control like that. Just the thought of what could have happened if he hadn't snapped back to his senses left his heart pounding in both excitement and fear. He could have marked her, he was only a second away from doing so. Killian cursed again, tugging at his hair.
Even though the thought of marking her was thrilling to his wolf, Ryker, Killian couldn't have that. He just couldn't let everything that he had worked hard for go to waste because of a flimsy mate bond. A lot was at stake. His future and the future of his pack rested on his shoulders.
Was Sheila worth it?
Killian had no answer to that, but the stern fact was she was still the enemy's daughter, and Thea, his sweet Thea, she was the one he needed. The only one that mattered to him and the pack was Thea. She didn't deserve any of this. From the minute Killian saw her and recognized she was the one the witch had spoken about, the only thing she had done was love him and help him. She was the key to breaking the curse inflicted on him by his own father. A curse that constantly torments him and steals the lives of his pack members. Thea was the gifted one Killian needed to save his life and the lives of everyone in his pack. He shouldn't be selfish. He just couldn't afford to be.
Killian splashed some water on his face, hoping to get rid of Sheila's scent on his body. He should have rejected her the first time he laid his eyes on her. Somewhere deep in his heart, he knew she would be trouble, but he didn't heed to his gut feeling. He brought her into his pack and now, she was driving him insane.
Ryker growled at the back of his head, but Killian ignored it. These days, Ryker barely says anything. Killian understood he was suffering as much as he was, or even worse. Being an Alpha, he got to experience the pain of the mate bond far worse than the regular wolves. But Ryker knew exactly what was at stake if he thought with his heart, rather than his head. There would be consequences.
He learned from his father that being an alpha meant having no emotions, holding no feelings, showing no weakness, and having no mate. Deep down, Killian knew he was becoming the man he despised with his entire being. His father. The man who was the most hated and cruelest alpha in all of North Central, the man who didn't even bat an eye before cursing him and his very own pack. Killian felt a burning pain erupt from the scars etched deeply into his back. Strangely, they always seemed to stir alive at the thought of his father.
He shut his eyes, leaning against the door. Inhaling deeply.
His thoughts drifted back to the problem in his life. Sheila. He knew the second he met her in the Silver Mist Pack that she was the one, his mate, the one destined for him by the moon goddess, the one meant to be his, but his cursed fate wouldn't just allow it.
His wolf also recognized the fragile beauty and wanted her. And that was a problem, but as usual, he chose to be as stubborn as a mule. Now, this girl had him curled up in her hands. What's even worse was that she had no idea what she was doing to him. She made him feel something he was never allowed to feel. He wasn't permitted to and didn't have the luxury for, not if he wanted to keep her safe and away from his cursed fate. It was better that way. He couldn't succumb to the feelings of the mate bond. Not with the curse still upon him and his pack. Claiming her as his would only involve her in his problems, and he couldn't have that. He wouldn't forgive himself. Also, he couldn't let his emotions show to the world.
He would avoid claiming her for her safety, because if he did, she would become his everything, and would be on his mind every awaking moment. Sheila Callaso will be his main weakness.
Killian had many enemies. He knew they would want to use her against him. His bad reputation would also endanger her life.
Even though rejection was out of the question now, he had attempted it, but the words couldn't just escape from his lips. Not with those magnetic blue eyes of hers boring straight at him, imprinting his very own soul. He couldn't pull through; something in her eyes stopped him. He couldn't explain it, but there was something about her that felt different. This wasn't as a result of the mate bond, and Killian knew it. This was different. She was different. She was everything he wanted, but cannot have.
Seeing her in the arms of another tonight, he couldn't help but agree with Ryker. No one was allowed to have her. He may be keeping her away from him, but that's because he didn't want to be the cause of her getting hurt. But that didn't mean he would let her go just so any other asshole could have her. He would never allow that. Regardless of everything, she was his and will remain his.
Killian's eyes pulled open.
The first time Killian met Thea, he felt it. She had the mark of the moon and the blessings of the goddess. Her presence in the pack had done a lot of good. The deaths and destruction in the pack have lessened in the past months. Even though he could still feel the cursed darkness in him, it was dormant. But the coming Crescent Moon scared him greatly.
He sighed, burying his head in his palm. A new wave of immense pain crushed his insides, forcing him to release a groan. He had to have a word with the witches, and with their help and Thea's, the ritual would be done, and hopefully, the curse would be broken. Hopefully, he would be free.
Killian was on his feet. He pulled open the door, making his way to the right-wing quarters. To Thea's chamber, he needed her desperately. As if expecting him, the door pushed open as soon as Killian approached her chamber.
Her small, rounded face looked beautiful in the darkness, her brown eyes holding Killian's, reflecting so much love and admiration. Without thinking, he reached for her and lifted her into his arms, leaned closer, gently pulling a hand to her cheek, and Killian's lips brushed against hers. It started off so tenderly and gently but soon became urgent and needy. She also moved her lips to the rhythm of his, feeling the familiar need growing on her.
Killian tried concentrating his lips on Thea, but he just couldn't. He could feel it, it was different, one lacking passion, warmth, and maybe, just maybe love. But that wasn't important. He turned off every emotion and fell deeper into her. His fingers intertwined in her hair as he lowered her to the bed, his kisses more demanding. He licked her upper lips, wanting permission, as soon as she allowed him, he explored her mouth. She felt the weight of his toned body on her as he positioned himself between her legs, he began to trail kisses from her jaw to her neck. It didn't matter whether Thea wasn't the woman he desired, because she was the one he desperately needed. And Sheila will be non-existent to him, and it will stay that way.
Nine