Feel…
My attention rose and diverted away from the History book. I took a quick glance around my room, assuring no one was here and no-one was. I was completely alone and only stuck with a voice that I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from.
I closed the book in my hands while my eyes widened in fear. My heart nearly jumped to my throat upon hearing the voice at first but after a few seconds, I found myself calming down.
Until he spoke again.
‘I know you can hear me and I know you can feel me—just like I can feel you.’
I drew myself up from the bed and took a closer look at my surroundings. There wasn’t anyone. I walked over to the dress, staring at my reflection as my heart beat rapidly. I didn’t know how to remove the voice from my head or even reply back to it.
‘Why are you scared, babygirl? I haven’t even done anything till now.’ Distress followed his voice and it became louder in my head as he continued.
There wasn’t even a second of silence to let me think what was happening. How could any of this be possible? How could there be someone in my head and only in my head? Why couldn’t I see him or feel him?
The voice returned in only a few seconds, leaving me shocked for the rest of the night. ‘I can feel you. Don’t worry. I feel everything you’re feeling.’
I snapped my head and thought, ‘He can hear me?’
‘Of course I can hear you.’ The man replied, as if he was just inside my head. He could listen to my thoughts and respond to it.
I was going crazier!
‘You’re not crazy, babygirl. This is normal. Don’t think too much. Just go lie down on your bed and relax.’ He whispered.
I froze in front of my reflection and kept staring into my own eyes for the next couple of seconds. This couldn’t be possible. None of this was possible. I needed more than a therapist. I needed to go straight to the mental asylum after what had just happened.
The man in my head now was hearing my thoughts and replying to me and I couldn’t understand any of it.
I turned away from the mirror and sat down on the bed. Holding myself together, I calmed down for a moment and avoided thinking too hard.
He wasn’t harming me. I didn’t need to be afraid.
Not now at least.
‘Who are you?’ I thought in my head, hoping the question would reach him and he would respond.
Just as I expected, he answered, ‘I’m your soulmate.’
‘Am I crazy?’
‘You’re not crazy. I can talk to you and feel you because my soul is bound to yours. You can only hear me if you allow yourself to be relaxed.’ He replied, making no sense.
My head throbbed in pain, ‘What do you want from me?’ At this point, I had no idea what I was doing. Either I was going into a manic episode or this was actually for real.
‘Nothing. Just you. I only want you. I had been trying to make a connection with you for so long. I don’t know where to find you. I only want you, babygirl.’ His voice a bit different, maybe resembling his own emotions now. It was quieter, warmer.
‘But I don’t know who you are and I don’t want you. I just want you to leave me alone and get out of my head.’ I snapped at him while my eyes were still opened wide, wandering left and right, ensuring no one was around me or there wasn’t a man hiding inside the closet.
‘I can’t leave you alone. You’re mine and you’ll be mine forever. Just don’t panic and talk to me when I talk to you. It makes me feel miserable when you’re confused and in doubt which you have been a lot these past few days.’ He spoke slowly, like a little whisper at the back of my head.
I sighed and lowered my head to the ground as my eyes pressed closed. I didn’t know what to think anymore. Any think I thought, he could hear it and respond to it. I didn’t want him inside my head, I wanted him away from my head, forever.
‘How can you feel me?’ I asked him. My heart stopped racing moments ago. I no longer felt as I was panicking and in midst of a panic attack.
‘Because you’re my mate. You can feel the emotions within me and I can feel what you’re going through.’
My brows furrowed and deep lines formed between my forehead. I rose from the bed and walked over to the door before locking it quietly so my mother wouldn’t hear me. She would kill me if she realized I was talking to a boy, even if it was in my head. After locking my door, I switched off one of the bright lights and returned to the bed.
‘What am I feeling now?’ I asked the voice.
‘Curious.’ He replied to me in seconds and without any hesitation. Though, he wasn’t wrong. I was confused and curious about this all.
If this was true, it meant that I wasn’t going crazy and there was something or someone out there talking to me.
‘I can’t feel anything from you—’ I paused and took a deep breath. ‘I mean, I don’t know. This is unusual. I don’t even know what you’re talking about or what is this.’ After a second, I began getting frustrated and jumbled up.
‘Don’t worry, by the time I’ll find you, you’ll know everything, babygirl.’
‘Don’t call me that!’ I exclaimed at him.
‘I will. Stop me if you can.’
I sighed and shook my head before closing my history books and placing them back over the table. I laid in the middle of the bed with my blanket draped over me. My thoughts were no longer my thoughts. Someone had consumed me.
A few minutes passed by and I didn’t hear anything from it. It was silent in my head. Finally. His voice seemed to have disappeared. I waited for a few more minutes and closed my eyes momentarily.
Sleep wasn’t going to be peaceful.
I knew that.
But there was nothing else I could do except to sleep. It had been a long exhausting day. I could either wait for my Dad to return from work and fall asleep.
I grabbed a book from the side table and began reading it. It was a fiction book, an old historical romance that I had just began. My gaze wandered over the pages and the words and soon, I found myself reading it.
I was forty pages in, dreaming about the main lead in the book when my eyes became heavy, almost as if I was being forced to sleep. I yawned once and then another time before tucking myself lower into the bed.
I placed the book on my left and tried to read but was unable to do so. It became difficult to even stay awake for another minute. My intentions were to read the book and wait for Dad but it seemed like someone was playing with my head.
I snuggled up and yawned one last time before shutting my eyes and dozing off. Just as I began drifting into a peaceful sleep, I was pulled up, forced elsewhere and shaken awake by my worst nightmare.
The same man who’s voice I had been hearing.
‘Hello, babygirl. I was waiting for you.’