Chapter 8 - Contraclockwise

I was awake with my ex-girlfriend next to me, Abstract shouldn’t know this. If she knew, she’ll leave me. Wait! How did we end up like this? I just helped her to rush her mother in the hospital. What will I do? No one should know this.

"Babe, are you tired of me?" she asked unexpectedly. We were in the mall and buying the materials for her artworks.

I stared at her, she’s serious, she doesn’t have the smile on her lips as if she was saying she’s hungry. “Of course not!” I replied.

“Hmm...” she hums then nods. "Let me know if you're getting tired of me, I'm willing to let you go." She said, she looked at me at smiled timidly.

"I will never get tired of you, Babe. There's no way, I would." I assured.

“Okay... maybe for now but there will be a day that you’re get tired of me.” She sound hurt.

“Are we going to stay together for six long years if I’m getting tired?” I ask her.

“That’s why I’m saying it now, right?” she said as she look at the popsicle sticks.

“Babe, I’m telling you that won’t happen.”

“Okay.” She coldly replied. “Why guys do cheat?” she suddenly asked.

I’m a bit taken aback. “Why did you suddenly ask?” I ask.

“I just want to ask, random question?” she replied.

“I don’t know...” I replied as an excuse, I can’t think of an answer.

“How about you, did you ever cheat?” she asked looking at my eyes straight.

I looked away. "I-I didn't!" I stuttered.

"Okay, then will you ever cheat on me?" she asks while putting different colors of yarn on the basket.

"O-of course not!" I replied. “Wait, why are you asking like that?”

She looked at me then grinned. “I’m going to use it for my story.”

Oh, yeah! I forgot, my girlfriend is a writer. “By the way, how’s the mother of your friend? Is she okay?”

It seems like the air I breath escape after hearing her question. “She o-okay but still not discharge from the hospital.” I replied then wiped my sweat on my forehead.

"I see..." she said while looking at her lists then the basket she brings. “Let’s go to the counter.”

Is her question were just in timing or there’s other meaning? I’m nervous, I was startled when she hold my hand. “Come on, you seem like a statue there.” She joked

“You’re hungry, right?” I ask. “You don’t talk to me.” She nods. “Uh... I’m right. I can say it with your expression, come on let’s eat.”

She said on the corner where there’s few people. She took something in her back looked at it, sighs then put it back. I crooked my forehead when I’m about to reach where she sits then I saw how she covered her eyes using her handkerchief. “Are you crying?” I asked.

She removed the handkerchief that covers her eyes and looked at me. “Allergy attacks.” She shortly replied. “You said, you helped your friend because her mother is sick, right?” I nod. “Why didn’t you told me that it was your ex-girlfriend whom you help?” she asks while looking at the table. I wasn’t able to answer her. She looked at me and I didn’t help but to gulp my own saliva seeing the coldness in her stare. “Are you afraid that I might not let you help her? Are you afraid I might get hurt? Or you don’t want me to feel insecure?” she ask continuously.

“It’s not like that...” I don’t know how to start.

“I’ll allow you, we knew it’s between life and death. Why did you lie?” she asks calmly.

“Because...” I can’t think of an answer. “I just help her.”

“You knew that it won’t be an issue to me whether you help an angel or demon.” She said while looking at me fiercely but her voice is calm. “The issue here, Radience, for you to know is you lied, you lied! Do

you get it?” she said holding her anger. “Why?” she asks, her voice full of pain. “Why did you lie?” she ask with emphasis.

“Because I don’t want to hurt you.”

She faintly chuckles. “Okay, if you found out that I’m with my ex-boyfriend and not my friends, what will you feel?”

"What?!" I asked with crooked forehead. No, it can’t be!

“We both know that between the two of us, you are the one who gets jealous easily.” She said, just right for both of us to hear. “And you know what it hurts? The moment I found out that you slept with her.” She said as if it was a matter of fact.

I saw the pain in her eyes. “Babe, I’m sorry.” I said with teary eyes.

“How many time, Red?” she asks without emotion written on her face. I looked away. “I’m asking you, how many times, Radiance!” she ask holding her anger.

I know, she’s about to lose her patience because she called me by my name and nickname. “E- everytime she a-asks for help.” Right there, reality stroked. I noticed that I’m already crying silently. “I’m sorry.” I wiped my tears, she pulled me out of the mall and she get the key on my pocket. “I’m sorry.” I repeatedly apologized while she’s driving. She pulled me out of the car and went inside a KTV room.

“Sir, it’s okay...” she said then lock the door.

"I'm really sorry."

I heard her sigh. “I gave you a lot of chances, Red for you to confess, for you to say the truth but you didn’t do anything.”

"I'm really sorry."

“What could your sorry do? You hurt me already, you betrayed me Radiance. You said, you will and never get tired of me but why? Why did you slept with her? It is because we don’t kiss? Is it because we only hold hand and hug each other? I want to understand, why?” I shook my head because I, myself don’t know the answer. “Oh... she can give you the thing I can’t yet give to you until now?” I don’t know why but I nod as an answer.