Chapter 4 - Contraclockwise

“No, it’s just difficult to open the door from outside.” She replied then put down her bag. “Come in, you might get rape from my neighbors if they saw you.” She said with seriousness.

I immediately obeyed her because she’s not kidding when she said that. I sat on the sofa, she gave me a warm glass of water. I looked at her. “Don’t be confused, drink the warm water slowly.” She said while pulling out the things in her bag. “Stay there, I’ll just take a shower.” I can’t just go and leave because for sure she won’t talk to me for a long time so all I can do is to wait. When she went back, she threw a towel. “You can also take a shower. You stink with sweat. Stinky!” she said then put down some clothes on the sofa. “Here, t-shirt, underwear and shorts.” She told me then went inside her room. “You can take a bath there. No worries, that underwear, aren’t my undies, it’s your briefs from the last time when we were wet from the rain before and you went home wearing shorts.”

I don’t know what to feel, if I’ll feel embarrassed or not. Why does she need to make me remember that? Even if we took a bath together because we got lost from a province and because it’s dark and we need to consume water. We sleep together in the same bed and other things that opposite gender friends should have boundaries. My ears felt hot while coming inside the bathroom. I saw how organized this doctor. “What will she clean here?” I whispered. After I went out of the bathroom, I saw her sitting on the sofa and watching TV, my eyes traces her body and notice what she wears. A sleeveless and shorts that is obvious that she’s ready to sleep. I looked away when I realized what was she’s wearing, I sat on the other sofa.

“Rackie, why do you wear that kind of clothes?” I protest.

“What’s wrong with my clothes? Terric, I’m wearing clothes.”

“Yes, you are wearing clothes, you just don’t wear undergarments inside.” I said with annoyance.

Her eyes widen. “Is it that obvious?” she asked.

I suddenly stood up. "Abstract, don't tell me, you only wore shorts only?"

“Not gonna say it.” She said.

Oh my! Even if a guy has a strong control his desire and he’s the most kind man in the whole wide world, he will have an idea and he will act according to his desire too. “Rackie, put more clothes!” I demanded.

“You know what it’s better if you go home.” After she said that the rain suddenly pour. “Oh, it seems you can’t, you can stay here for tonight. I’ll just get some pillow.” She stood up to get some pillow for me but I don’t know what got into me and stopped her by holding her wrist.

I just noticed that I am holding her close to me until the space between us was gone, then tasted her lips. I felt that she’s pushing me but I didn’t mind at all.

"Master Meander!" she shouts.

The strong hit I felt on my body awakens me, I hold her hand to stopped her from hitting me. When I was fully aware of what I’m doing, I saw myself naked. I was stunned, I felt like a cold water was pour on me. “Rackie, I’m… I—” I don’t know what to say. She silently pulled the blanket on her bed to cover herself while I cover myself with pillow. After she took a bath, she put some clothes in front of me on the bed and went out of the room.

While I was taking a bath, I saw some blood on mine after doing what I have to, I fixed her bed and there I saw some blood on it. I am guilty for what I’ve done but I can’t help but smile.*

I was startled when I remember Abstract; she took so long so I went out of the car. I lean of the car after seeing her walking back, she was searching for the car but when she saw me, she walks towards me. After I dropping her back to the hospital, it seems like we’re okay that’s why I went home happy but a text message made all the happiness disappear.

'Let’s not meet for awhile. I need to think first, I'm sorry, I wasn't able to say this in person because I might cry in front of you. I feel betrayed, Master. I trust you but you made me feel that I was wrong to trust you. - Abbie'

She’s using her nickname Abbie when she knew that she’ll say something hurtful. And she knew very well that I’ll be hurt, what I’m afraid of… our friendship will be broken because of what I’ve did. What will I do just to bring back what we have before? I can’t work properly… I wasn’t able to shave and even go to a barber shop for haircut.

“Mash, did you found out what happened to Rackie?” my mom rushed to ask me.

“Mom, I know…” I replied shortly.

“Why don’t you see her?”

“I’m tired.” I lamely excused.

What can I do? She already told me not to show myself, not to see her. I can’t do anything about that! Uh, it hurts! Now, I really regret what I have done but never that thing that happened between us. The pain I’m feeling is unbearable so I asked for a leave from work and now I’m staying at the house, in my

room which I don’t usually do. I’m hoping that someday, she will ask for my help and the friendship I broke will be back like how it was before. I noticed that my tear drop and all I can do is to cover my face with pillow and lay down like a fetus. “If I could turn back the time, I will stop myself from acting ridiculously.” I whisper. “Rackie, I’m sorry… please talk to me.” I beg even though I know she will never hear me.